Dear Toilet,
I has come to my attention -- as I type this from the couch, I am watching what you are doing to my husband and father-in-law -- that you are being a bit touchy. For some reason you refuse to just FREAKING INSTALL ALREADY. I know that this "remodel" isn't going as smoothly as hoped. (I use quotes because "remodels" are usually something you "plan," but what the heck, we're playing fast and loose with that concept, as well.) Anywho, this is just a friendly little notice to request that you get on-board with what's happening around Casa de Pug. My poor father-in-law is tired of having to walk down stairs and into the master bedroom to take a dump. Its annoying, to say the least. And, frankly, I am tiring of the gaping hole in the ceiling at the foot of our bed that can't be patched until YOU ARE FIXED. Its been four day, toilet. That is long enough. Get your shit together and stop being so damn disagreeable. Just so you know, I don't blame you or myself for this. We are both innocent here, toilet. However, we have to play the best game with the hand we've been dealt. And exposed piping leaking toilet water IS NOT DEALING WELL. So please, I beg you to SUCK IT UP, SWALLOW IT LIKE A MAN AND BOARD THE POTTY TRAIN because she is pulling out of the station.
Regards,
Momma Pug
I has come to my attention -- as I type this from the couch, I am watching what you are doing to my husband and father-in-law -- that you are being a bit touchy. For some reason you refuse to just FREAKING INSTALL ALREADY. I know that this "remodel" isn't going as smoothly as hoped. (I use quotes because "remodels" are usually something you "plan," but what the heck, we're playing fast and loose with that concept, as well.) Anywho, this is just a friendly little notice to request that you get on-board with what's happening around Casa de Pug. My poor father-in-law is tired of having to walk down stairs and into the master bedroom to take a dump. Its annoying, to say the least. And, frankly, I am tiring of the gaping hole in the ceiling at the foot of our bed that can't be patched until YOU ARE FIXED. Its been four day, toilet. That is long enough. Get your shit together and stop being so damn disagreeable. Just so you know, I don't blame you or myself for this. We are both innocent here, toilet. However, we have to play the best game with the hand we've been dealt. And exposed piping leaking toilet water IS NOT DEALING WELL. So please, I beg you to SUCK IT UP, SWALLOW IT LIKE A MAN AND BOARD THE POTTY TRAIN because she is pulling out of the station.
Regards,
Momma Pug
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