Good Things To Come

Wow, Internet, you really respond to stories in which I hurt myself. I mean you REALLY rally behind those. If I weren't such a bitch and admittedly laugh EVERY time anyone around me hurts themselves, then I might be a little offended by the glee that you guys seem to experience when discussing my failures. But since I am EXACTLY the same way, I don't begrudge you one bit. In fact, it kind of warms my heart to see all my readers united by a common passion. Even if it my physical injury or personal embarrassment.

If you all shared some other common interest -- such as gardening or kiddy porn -- then you wouldn't be here reading what I have to say. I choose to embrace the fact that I am fat, clumsy and loud. Since we started talking about my litany of jackassery, I've been hounded with requests to elaborate on the various personal experiences you guys have shared in the comments section. The most requested -- by far -- is the Bass Drum And Bleachers Story (circa 1993). I was fully prepared to tell that to yall, but my dear friend Madge has asked that she be the one to share the tale. So later this week, expect a guest blog from the semi-world-famous Madge from Madge-and-a-Half blogging fame. I figured that if she's put up with me and served as my best friend for 25 years, I owe her the pleasure of sharing that little treasure with the World Wide Web.

Here's a list of the other stuff you can expect in the coming week:

• Momma Pug Goes To The Texas Renaissance Fair And -- Equally Surprisingly -- Doesn't Dress Up Or Fall Down

• The Infamous Tale Of How Momma Pug And Jaime' Accidentally Wandered Into A Major Drug Bust
  
  And we'll have one of the following:
  

• ALL AL FRIDAYS! (This is a new segment of Pug Off where we feature a different picture of my friend Al in compromising, embarrassing or just hilarious circumstances.)
  
  Or
  
  
• Momma Pug's Mailbag: Another Correspondence With My Favorite Reader, The Pig Whore

Yall come back tomorrow. I promise not to disappoint.