Maybe She Just Looked Bigger In The Dawn Light

Setting: Me and the Aggie parked at 6:55 a.m. in front of the Avenue clothing store. The store caters to us chunky girls and is set to open in five minutes. Roughly 25 overweight women are crowding the front of the locked door. They are peering in through the glass windows and getting restless. You'd think that this was a deserted island and these ladies had just discovered the island natives have a surplus of Big Macs. One woman -- who is a bit of a giant -- looks like she is ready to strike.

Me: "Wow, the are taking this $5 sweater deal seriously."

The Aggie: "Look at that tall one in the front. The saleslady is trying to get into the front door and I think that big one is going to make a break for it."

(Sure enough, the giant woman tries to follow her into the clearly closed store. The crowd of heavy gals is pressing toward her, encouraging her to push on through. The Aggie and I are still sitting in the car, watching this fatastrophy unfold.)

Me: "Wow, she almost made it."

The Aggie: "Did you see them push her back out! I didn't think they could do it!"

Me: "Looks like they are opening the door."

The Aggie: "You sure you're ready to do this."

Me: "Yep. I got something those girls don't -- a husband."

The Aggie: "Yep. And I ain't afraid to hit a fat woman in the face with my elbow."

God, I love my husband.