My Sweet Husband

Yesterday I just knew the Aggie was up to something. He was being a bit secretive. Kind of shady. I didn't think too much of it, as it IS Christmas – the season to sneak around and spend money like a drunken sailor. So I didn't think to much about his behavior, other than my curiosity was peaked. The Aggie is horrible at keeping surprises. He is very matter-of-fact and he likes to just lay it out there. Usually we pick things out together. No sense in leaving whether we'll like it or not up to chance. So you see, I figured he'd tell me pretty quickly, so I didn't push or snoop… at first.

Well, the Aggie actually kept me in suspense yesterday. And the more cool he acted about it, the more I had to know RIGHT NOW what he was up to. I tried everything I could think of to snoop. Alas, my efforts were to no avail. By the time he picked me up from work I was literally DYING to know. And, boy, did I use all my womanly charms to try and get him to break. Yet, he remained strong and refused to give anything away. Finally, after I had annoyed him into submission he said I could have my gift before I went to bed last night.

So I tried to go to bed at 4:30. Which sent the Aggie into fits of laughter.

At about 6:30, the Aggie said he had to run an errand – fill the car up with gas, I think – and he headed off, leaving me to finish up some sewing projects for my soon-to-be-born nephew. Clearly, I took this opportunity to search the house for my gift. It didn't take long for my frustration level to increase. DAMN IT! He's getting smarter. Five years ago -- about two months before he asked me to marry him -- I found my engagement ring. When he was gone to work, I'd put it on and look at myself in the mirror. (Stop judging me. I was excited.) Years later, after he "surprised" me with the ring and marriage proposal, I told him about the many afternoons I'd prance around in my ring feeling like the Queen of England in my jewels. He just laughed and commended me on my having the fortitude to put it back in the box after each "test drive."

But that sucker didn't forget my actions. No, sir, he did not make the mistake of trusting me again. He did a lot better job hiding his handiwork this time around. I was knee deep searching in our closet when I heard the front door rattle. Immediately I scrambled back to the couch where the Aggie had left me. I practically crushed the coffee table getting back into my I-have-been-here-the-entire-time position when in walks my father-in-law. False alarm! I resumed my search.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Nothing….?"

" How was your day?" he said, looking confused.

"Fine, yours?" I replied as I pulled all the steak knives from their drawer.

"Same old shit, another day," he said as he watched me search. "Can I help you? What are you looking for?"

Before I could answer, the front door opened and I dove back onto the couch.

"Hey honey!" I said a little too perky.

Sensing my urgency, the Aggie walked into the bedroom, rumbled around a few minutes then returned with a square gift the size of a book. Quickly I started ripping into the package. I had guessed correctly. It was a book… and a Wii game. Both very nice gifts. You should have seen the Aggie's face. He was very, very proud of his Wii game – one that included professional football. Well, of course he's excited, I thought! He just bought HIMSELF something FOR ME for Christmas. I tried not to show any disappointment, but he could tell I was a little letdown.

"Why don't you flip it over and see the list of games. I think there's one in particular you will really like," he said.

Slowly I flipped the game over, preparing myself to fake-spout fireworks over Wii shuffleboard or badminton. At first I didn't even notice that there was something taped to the back of the game box. I just assumed it was left over from the Aggie's horrific wrapping job. But then I ran my finger across it. It was solid, metal and just small enough to fit around my finger!

The Aggie had purchased me a new wedding band set! Custom-made, two-tone and one of a kind. It was the wedding set he said he'd wanted to buy for me five years ago, but couldn't afford it. It took him five years, he said, but he knew it would be worth it.

Well, you know? He was right.

There were a lot of people that thought we were crazy getting married six months after we'd been dating. A lot of folks bet against us. And that's all right, because we were young and stupid. It could have totally blown up in our faces. But it didn't and we proved them wrong. We're stronger now than we've ever been. Every day I fall a little more in love with my husband. He is my best friend. He believes in me and I couldn't be happier in the life we've made together. It's been the best five years of my life and I can't wait to experience the next five.

And to all those doubters? I got two words: Suck it.

Thank you, my sweet husband. I love being married to you. My gratitude is so strong that its difficult to find the appropriate words. Lets just say that this thoughtful, kind and expensive Christmas present has totally bought you an infinite amount of sex. And not just married people sex. We can even do it on top of the covers and with the lights on if that's your thing.