No Dogs, Pigs Or Pig-like Dogs Were Harmed In The Making Of This Post

I have not even made it to my first Weight Watchers meeting but already I am so hungry I think I could eat an entire pig. Hooves and all.

Sonny the Pug is nervous because of his obvious resemblance to swine and my craving bacon makes him fear that in a hunger induced pork-rage I will accidentally butcher him. I just keep reminding him that I'm fat -- not Asian -- so we're cool.

Truth be told, I really want to eat to sooth my inner blob with something large, sweet and chocolately. I know that going to Weight Watchers tonight and getting on the scale is going to be nothing short of devastating. I am good at lying to myself about many thing but the fact that most of my dress pants are busting from the seams is not lost on me.

I suppose you are at the bottom when you're so fat that your "fat clothes" don't really fit any more. I just don't know if I'm ready to put a number to it all. That makes it real. That number is something that's hard to ignore.

Let be real here people. I think it goes without saying that I'd much rather go eat a chocolate and caramel sunday. With extra whipped cream.