UPDATE:
Lost 1.9 pounds this week.
On the way home from Weight Watchers I bought Metabolism a new game for the xBox to say I'm sorry. Later tonight I'll make it some cookies while it gets drinks beer and plays videos in den until 1 a.m. Maybe tomorrow I'll talk to it about getting a job. Don't want to sound like a nagging old mom.
Tonight is weigh-in and I don't really think that I've done very well this week. This is the first meeting I've dreaded because I know I wasn't as much of a nazi as I should have been.
The Old Momma Pug would have totally skipped it. Pretended it didn't happen. Never to be seen or heard from again.
Instead, I am going to man up and go step on the scale. It's not that I cheated – because I didn't. Its just that in order for me to lose weight, I have to be really, really careful. I can't use any of the "bonus" points. And for the most part I have to stay away from processed foods.
This week I used my bonus points and I ate the shit out of processed diet crap. So I'm not optimistic. Right now? I am totally angry at my Metabolism. I want to tell it to get its lazy ass up on its mama's couch and go get a fucking job. Don't come back until you can put something down on the phone bill and offer to cook dinner and clean up after yourself, Metabolism.
It's like having an 30 year old ungrateful ass of a kid that you PHYSICALLY can't kick out. You warn them a lot, but they know you're all bark and no bite. They know you won't follow through. Conniving little leeches.
Well, I'm putting you on notice, Metabolism. You and me are no good for each other. I'm just an enabler and it's time you made your way on your on.
Lost 1.9 pounds this week.
On the way home from Weight Watchers I bought Metabolism a new game for the xBox to say I'm sorry. Later tonight I'll make it some cookies while it gets drinks beer and plays videos in den until 1 a.m. Maybe tomorrow I'll talk to it about getting a job. Don't want to sound like a nagging old mom.
---
Tonight is weigh-in and I don't really think that I've done very well this week. This is the first meeting I've dreaded because I know I wasn't as much of a nazi as I should have been.
The Old Momma Pug would have totally skipped it. Pretended it didn't happen. Never to be seen or heard from again.
Instead, I am going to man up and go step on the scale. It's not that I cheated – because I didn't. Its just that in order for me to lose weight, I have to be really, really careful. I can't use any of the "bonus" points. And for the most part I have to stay away from processed foods.
This week I used my bonus points and I ate the shit out of processed diet crap. So I'm not optimistic. Right now? I am totally angry at my Metabolism. I want to tell it to get its lazy ass up on its mama's couch and go get a fucking job. Don't come back until you can put something down on the phone bill and offer to cook dinner and clean up after yourself, Metabolism.
It's like having an 30 year old ungrateful ass of a kid that you PHYSICALLY can't kick out. You warn them a lot, but they know you're all bark and no bite. They know you won't follow through. Conniving little leeches.
Well, I'm putting you on notice, Metabolism. You and me are no good for each other. I'm just an enabler and it's time you made your way on your on.
2 comments:
you killin me! Stay at it! You've done amazing...especially compared to me...
Fucking metabolism gets an XBox, but not me...this cannot be condoned!
Post a Comment