Long Time Gone

My grandmother died at about 2 a.m. Monday morning. That's where I been -- traveling, remembering, spending time with family. There's so much I want to say about my grandmother. A lot of you knew her and will will agree she was a saintly lady. But it seems like my heart and mind won't link up enough to tell you everything that I need and want to. I think its because I'm just worn out. The week before this happened, work was especially hectic and I was already pretty drained. There really wasn't a break between that busy/emotional work week and that busy/emotional family week. So now I'm kind of just sitting here staring at all my projects -- and a house that ain't cleaning itself -- and feeling pretty overwhelmed. The words just aren't coming to me. Which is frustrating on on two fronts: 1) writing is how I express myself and 2) I am getting BE-HIND on my writing projects.

Also? I haven't told very many people this, but I am participating in two upcoming craft shows. Its not that I'm hiding my crafty side, its just that I'm a little bit scared no one will want to buy my shit, specifically my Rag Monsters. I have been working for months on getting enough inventory together to actually participate in the shows and now I'm scared people are going to be all WHAT IS THAT? IS THIS WOMAN DELUSIONAL? PFT. And I'm scared I'll reply MY DEAD GRANDMOTHERS TAUGHT ME ALL I KNOW ABOUT SEWING. WHAT KIND OF HEARTLESS MONSTERS ARE YOU? Then finish it with a right hook.

So. Yeah. So that's where I am emotionally right now -- feeling very raw and exposed and fighting the urge to punch anyone who looks at me funny in the throat. If that's not an endorsement that makes you want to hurry over to my booth at the craft shows, then I don't know what is.